What was your last straw? (quitting band content)

Discussion in 'The Sound Hound Lounge' started by Sombras, Jul 17, 2019.

  1. VCuomo

    VCuomo Member

    Messages:
    16,669
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2003
    Location:
    Southern California
    Was tired of it being the singer's band instead of "our" band and having to do everything his way. He and the drummer founded the band and he booked all the gigs, so he sure wasn't going to be leaving and it just wasn't much fun for me any longer and, after a particularly memorable (in a bad way) practice I decided it was time to part ways. Apparently the other guitar player felt the same way because he quit within hours of me.
     
  2. Kluch

    Kluch Member

    Messages:
    3,585
    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2012
    Location:
    Chicagoland
    Y'know, this reminds me of a not so good situation where a worship leader at my home church (this now years ago) was asked to resign (fired basically) because his musical style and personality just didn't fit our church at the time. I was in college at the time and had nothing against the guy personally (though I didn't quite enjoy his "style" of music) but when his final sunday leading the band came immediately following the service he took to the mic and made a statement to the effect of "If anyone REALLY wants to know why I'm leaving they should come talk to me!". I learned that was not the way to leave a band. Thankfully I've never left a band out of frustration but only b/c of life circumstances (moving to another state, having kids/life change, etc).
     
    Abram4235, Kevy_Metal and TFR like this.
  3. mikebat

    mikebat Member

    Messages:
    9,794
    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2014
    Location:
    It's cold outside.
    People's priorities changed, and instead of just saying so, they started to put roadblocks up.

    Just say it. Don't disrespect other people's time and effort. Man up.
     
  4. buzzard blues bird

    buzzard blues bird Member

    Messages:
    732
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2018
    Ironic that this thread pops up now, perfect timing!lol . I've been playing in bands since I was about 11-12 yrs old. Most fizzled out due to various reasons, usually drug/alcohol problems, not mine.I only got fired once from a band with my ''friends"in the 80's. Due to personality differences. Have'nt talked to them since. Recently I quit a band I co founded with a drummer. Let me just say that I find ''band people" to be the most disloyal people I've ever met. Bands in general remind me of the show survivor,where there are clique's and alliances made by people who want to dominate others. I'm so not that guy. I figured at my age I'd give it another shot. I wanted to start from the ground up so I would have a say. Immediately I saw the drummer had a drinking problem,and he knew it too. He'd drink one beer after another plus a bottle of vodka every day. He was a functioning alcoholic with a job and family. He was lovable and funny and personable so I'd give it a shot but told him if it became a problem gigging out, I'd be gone.We added members, a singer who's family owned a small dive sports bar plus a friend/bass player of his who had another drinking problem but again knew the consiquences of what would happen if it ruined practices and gigs. The drummer insisted against my will, to add a second guitarist even though I'm a lead guitarist . I agreed and me and the other guitar player complimented each other well.A little more outspoken than I would've liked but whatever.We all got along great and had a fun time most of the time at practice ,sometimes the bassist and drummer drank way too much and by the end of practice they were stumbling out of there. But they were cool, kind of loveable people.However....if the drummer drank any dark liquor like whiskey....instant dick. If the bass player drank moonshine, you may as well cancel practice and go home. And they recognized it. Fast forward ,after 2 years in the basement practicing our first gig was a party. outside. we got hit by 3 thunderstorms and had to move inside a large garage building. As soon as we start the drummer yells to someone to give him a shot of fireball....**** I'm thinking.Sure enough instant dick shows up ,he's yelling at the singer for not working the crowd, at me for only playing guitar,leads. high harmonies vocals etc ,working a large pedalboard to be as accurate to the songs as possible. I guess I should have brought a trampoline!The last straw was when he cursed me out in front of an audience for being too loud.Once other members were added I was'nt quite as valued.In my mind I was done on the spot and thought about it overnight and let them know the next day.I'm getting too old to move gear in the heat to play for people that don't give a damn and to put up with unprofessional alcoholics.The hard part is you lose what you thought were friends and that comraderie as well as playing, which is my only hobby since I was 8 years old.As you get older I'm 53 year old in a 35 year olds body it gets harder to find people to play with that are on the same page. sorry for the rant.
     
  5. mikendzel

    mikendzel Member

    Messages:
    833
    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2010
    Location:
    Easton, MD
    This thread makes me LOVE my current band! We've been together for 17-18 years now!! No egos, no drama, plenty of money.
     
  6. Yer Blues

    Yer Blues Member

    Messages:
    7,896
    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    I look at band members more as a co-workers than friends. Your friends with some of your co-workers and not friends with others. You can still be respectful and get the job (gig) done without being best buddies. I wish I would have looked at it this way sooner.
     
  7. buzzard blues bird

    buzzard blues bird Member

    Messages:
    732
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2018
    And from whom do you suppose he got this talent,riches and backing.....satan? Good for you getting out.The movie industry, music etc is ran by pedophile satanists who would sacrifice there own family's, and do, to get wealth and fame. Eventually the bill comes due... guess who's collecting?
     
    MountainCraft likes this.
  8. Sombras

    Sombras Member

    Messages:
    190
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2016
    Yeah, man. That definitely factored into my recent departure. I couldn't hang out and drink/smoke/eat after practice and the former high-level, gold-record-earning, nationally-known-act founder of the band couldn't fathom it. I was the black sheep non-conformist because I had to get home to family. Forget that I never missed practice, was never late, don't party, and knew the songs that got called out way too late before each rehearsal. Bandmates are my colleagues first, maybe-buds second.
     
    Thumpalumpacus and Abram4235 like this.
  9. Yer Blues

    Yer Blues Member

    Messages:
    7,896
    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    I believe the talent, riches, and backing were provided by a force much worse than satan. I believe we call it the record industry.
     
    coffeecupman likes this.
  10. tiktok

    tiktok Supporting Member

    Messages:
    21,253
    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2009
    Location:
    Seattle
    Not in my experience.
     
  11. Dasein

    Dasein Member

    Messages:
    3,663
    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2005
    Location:
    Vancouver
    Really? I always thought it was run by dreamers and ne'er do wells along with a handful of miscreants and rogues.
     
  12. beatnik

    beatnik Member

    Messages:
    721
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2007
    Location:
    Dallas
    Larger organizations:

    I was let go by the leader who wanted to get younger at that position. I heard later from someone on the board that they did not agree with the decision b/c I was the one who took on multiple roles when they were without a main leader. So the young guy that they got was an intern and left after 3 months and they then spent several years trying to find someone to do my job. The leader who let me go disqualified himself for leadership a short time later.

    Second story; they wanted more activity from the band so as the guitar player, I gave them a little more. I was told between sets one day that the senior leader wanted me to quit what I was doing b/c the stage reverberated and he was afraid it was distracting. I was a good soldier and did what I was told (I pretended I was in the Beatles). And then I told them how they could fix the problem. They agreed but did not keep me in the loop regarding when the problem would be fixed and I decided I was done being treated as an afterthought so I was done operating in that space. The sad thing is that was the last year my kid played with the group before going to college and I LOVED playing with him. I also heard from leadership that they strongly disapproved of what the senior leader did to me. Besides the fact that my wife and friends were very confused as to why I was targeted for that kind of criticism.

    Another band was just some dude’s Sunday afternoon activity. He never wanted to gig. So one day I got frustrated, blew up, and left. Not my finest moment.
     
    Abram4235 likes this.
  13. Dasein

    Dasein Member

    Messages:
    3,663
    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2005
    Location:
    Vancouver
    Are these Church band situations?
     
    Steve Hotra likes this.
  14. melondaoust

    melondaoust Member

    Messages:
    826
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2004
    Was in a band with a mediocre singer, and two members who rarely (if ever) practiced (not to mention could get offended easily if you pointed this out). Weeks of rehearsal, not much playing, last gig I did with them I made $2 (my cut of the door. caveat: so did everyone else).

    Not worth the time nor effort. Moved on.
     
    Thumpalumpacus and Abram4235 like this.
  15. beatnik

    beatnik Member

    Messages:
    721
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2007
    Location:
    Dallas
    One was my job. The second was as a volunteer. The third was supposed to a side hustle.

    And I think that is all I’m supposed to say about that.
     
    Kluch likes this.
  16. nla

    nla Member

    Messages:
    38
    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2013
    I respectfully disagree. Most musicians I know (both very amateur or highly professional) never started or joined bands because they wanted to become famous, a better player or whatever - but because they wanted to have fun and/or loved music. Having to "suck it up" sounds like a sure way to quitting music altogether, sooner than later.
     
    Abram4235 and IGuitUpIGuitDown like this.
  17. TFR

    TFR Supporting Member

    Messages:
    426
    Joined:
    May 28, 2005
    Location:
    Sweet Home
    That's not the way to leave anything really. It's always tempting to go out shooting but that tends to not work out well.
     
    Kluch likes this.
  18. Kluch

    Kluch Member

    Messages:
    3,585
    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2012
    Location:
    Chicagoland
    Ya, you know I think many times it just comes down to a persons maturity and personality combination (regarding how they're willing to handle different situations). I know that the guy who ended up getting let go from our church had been involved in music ventures before he was hired and continued to do music stuff after and I also knew a few people he had worked with and those people had told me they had issues with him as well (falling out).
     
  19. Abram4235

    Abram4235 Supporting Member

    Messages:
    4,269
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2015
    Location:
    Maine
    My old singer wanted to cover the Pokemon theme song. Friggin Pokemon!
     
    MountainCraft likes this.
  20. GenoVox

    GenoVox Member

    Messages:
    2,359
    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2006
    Location:
    Buffalo, NY
    Let's see... there were a few (all different bands):

    – When we found out our singer and drummer had been sleeping together behind the scenes, and she no-showed a gig cuz they had a rift
    – When our "big New Years gig" turned out to be a scam by our lead singer/band leader and we each had to chip in money before we could leave the venue
    – When the woman who fronted the band had been repeatedly cancelling rehearsals for her various goings on, but had a tantrum when I asked to reschedule one cuz it was my (ex)wife's birthday
    – When we got on the first gig and it turned out the singer's husband/"soundman" got a full cut (but we all were expected to help him haul/set up the PA, and he was usually drinking at the bar during our sets)... luckily that was basically a fill-in gig, so not a big commitment
    – When we had to almost fight our way out of a biker bar – guys were literally pairing off - (and didn't get paid) because the owner was completely hammered and claimed we were trying to screw him (it had been one of our monthly gigs for about a year)
    – When the bass player decided to combine Reefer, Jack Daniels and Xanex and was basically a dribbling idiot by the 3rd set

    I'm sure there are more... but that's just off the top of my head
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2019
    Thumpalumpacus and beanbass like this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice