What was your last straw? (quitting band content)

Discussion in 'The Sound Hound Lounge' started by Sombras, Jul 17, 2019.

  1. pyna

    pyna Member

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    fascinated how a scam like this would work
     
  2. 75_Futura

    75_Futura Member

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    one band
    We committed to play at a town's 150th anniversary. The man who was in charge of the event had a small stage with light bars built just for the occasion. Just before the big day, the drummer and bassist in the band both decided they were going to skip the event without even telling the guy. Even though I'd play a ton of gigs with the band over the previous few years, after that occurrence, it was only a matter of time until I was done. Prior to that, I enjoyed the heck out of this band.

    another band
    When playing a gig, I feel that well-known solos and rhythm parts should be played the exact way they appear on records. The bass player in this band felt EVERY SINGLE PIECE of a song had to be replicated perfectly, however. His target was usually the keyboard player ("You're missing a little trill in that part"), but during rehearsals, he'd even stop the singer mid-song to say stuff like, "The original singer does that part in a low baritone but shifts to a countertenor. Make the transition smoother." The lead singer was awesome, BTW. The keyboardist and I quit after a few gigs, and the drummer and singer followed suit shortly thereafter.

    another band
    Each of us would pick a couple of new songs to bring to weekly rehearsals. We chose to focus solely on cover songs after agreeing that our typical audience would appreciate hearing popular songs from a number of genres. Even so, two people in the band kept picking obscure songs that no one else had ever heard.
    Other band member: "This song from Aerosmith is from a live recording in the early '80s."
    Me: "I think I've heard just about every song Aerosmith has recorded, but I've never heard that one."
    Other band member: "Probably not many people have. The recording was done during Aerosmith's mellow years, which they spent on an isolated island. They used a Styrofoam cup and a piece of string for a microphone."
    Me: "Should we play 'Walk This Way" or "Sweet Emotion" instead?
    Other band member: "No. This song's lyrics provide a strong, universal message."
    Fortunately, the rest of us just stopped playing with the two people who said they understood the original mission but did not actually get it.

    There have been some other bands that have broken up because members have moved or had families or decided to pursue other interests.
     
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  3. GenoVox

    GenoVox Member

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    LOL - well, it wasn’t like a brilliant Ponzi scheme or anything... was just pulling a fast one on the band. Long story short, she sold the whole thing to the band members as one thing, and it turned out to be basically the total opposite... I was youngest in the band at the time (early 20s) and right away I smelled a rat, but the other guys were like, “Dude, you’re just being paranoid - she’d never do something like that”

    Well, she did... and I left shortly thereafter (once I had another band together). Meanwhile, the other guys stuck around for another year or 2 of similar shenanigans. A shame too... cuz it was a really good band, musically - and a lot of fun to play in (again, from a musical and “show” standpoint)
     
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  4. GenoVox

    GenoVox Member

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    Wow - count yer blessings, man... that’s a real rarity
     
  5. Amplifier Owner

    Amplifier Owner Member

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    I landed a bass spot with a group that had yet to play a gig. I had about 10 years experience at that time. They were good, but so damn loud. It got to a point where I was playing from a separate room in the basement where we practiced. I guess they got tired of my lectures about volume control, after the fifth practice, we agreed that it wasn’t going to work. The guitarist got married a few months later, and I heard that was the end of the band.
     
  6. GenoVox

    GenoVox Member

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    Thinking back more on this one... what was actually the “last straw” was because the other guys didn’t agree to give her the boot after the no-show. I mean, I get why the drummer didn’t want to, but the other guys were - I suspect - intimidated by her. I was young, cocky & in a hurry... so I didn’t care either way (she looked the part, but the singing was average at best). And if the drummer wanted to leave too, we already knew another guy that was available (and better). But they didn’t wanna Rock the boat, which in hindsight, I guess I understand more now....

    But yeah... it’s always an accident waiting to happen when band members get romantically involved
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2019
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  7. Hofnarr

    Hofnarr Member

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  8. FlackBase

    FlackBase Felonious Monkey Gold Supporting Member

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    Talk about your bad break-ups. Back in the 70s I was in a local gigging band, living the life of the big fish in a small pond at the tender age of 22. None of us in the band had a day job, and we were broke of course but survived on parties and free booze.

    The lead singer's wife had a job, and they had an apartment, where 4 of us lived at one point. Long story short, the lead singer's wife caught him in the sack with a waitress who worked at one of the clubs we often played.

    In her infinite wisdom, she smirked and said something to the effect of "Oh that's ok. I've been sleeping with (Flackbase) for a couple of months now but I'm tired of his **** too, so screw you both I'm gone. She looked at me and winked and blew me a kiss and walked out. And of course he believed her. It was a brilliant move on her part. It was of course UNTRUE, but it worked, his marriage was over, and our band was over in the span of about 5 minutes. He never spoke to me again. Good riddance I suppose.
     
  9. Metal Jake

    Metal Jake Member

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    it breaks yer hart but sometimes you just gotta do it what you gotta do...
    a cupla months back I had to pull the plug on my longtime band, for it was the last straw that broke the camels back.
    I was like, 'guise, we came tagether to do 3 things:

    1. Drink some ****en beers
    II. Play some ****en mettle!
    3. Choreograph and execute the odd nunchaku exhibition

    And in the start, thats just wut we done did! But now its all just fighting, sniping and other miscellaneous back-biting, and not anymore enuf about the mettel."
    TBH the trouble all started when Don (bass) started bringing his girl to all tha rehearsals. Now, I got no problem with Roxy, but the sad fact is, she used to go out with Rick (drums), and hell, she once made an 'intimate peruzal' of yours truly as well! Now Donny is well aware of these facts, and I can only suppose he was doing this because he has the very same shoulder-chip inferiority complex shared by all bassmen. Whatever the reason, the effect is that Rick starts adding fills in essentially every bar of every song, because he is trying to make some kind of impression on his ex, becuz he feels some kind of way about her bein' around, and especially being around with another guy, and not just any guy, but ******* Donny, his supposed friend, compartriot, and partner in metal!. Now Rick was already the kind of drummer some might accuse of 'over-playing", so this new additional complexity is a bit much, even for the likes of us. The constant fills are really starting to sink our otherwise quite bouyant rawk n' roll sound. At a certain point, I became fed up, and, enraged, I told ole "YOKO" to go ahead and kick rocks. This move on my part in turn prompted a fiery confrontation between me an Don, which confrontation in turn compelled Rick to enter into the fray, and henceforth there commenced between all three of us–meaning Rick, Don, and myself–the exchange of harsh and angry words, words the likes of which can never be taken aback, nor in any way excused or unsaid.

    So that's the story of the end of Doom Strider. But that is most certainly NOT the end of my mettal dreamz!
    Rock over Cleveland! Rock on Chicago!!
     
  10. DeSolo

    DeSolo Silver Supporting Member

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    The lead guitarist's girlfriend wanted us to record in "Dubly."
     
  11. drbob1

    drbob1 Silver Supporting Member

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    It wasn't really me leaving... We had a band at the hospital, played charity gigs and practiced. Nobody was killer, but had a decent singer, nice harmonies and OK instrumentation. But the drummer got himself fired (never found out why) from the hospital and we could never find another... Just petered out at that point.
     
  12. AprioriMark

    AprioriMark Supporting Member

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    I have a three stories, and no one will read them all. The best/worst is last.

    Story 1:
    Our first band together was an artist collective in '95. No leadership structure; just whoever did whatever, and we did better than we should have. Opened for lots of big bands, recorded and distributed our own CD (back when no one was), and wrote some really meaningful music.

    My friend, who just sang at the time, travels a lot. He chose to leave the country for a few months before our CD was finished recording. We finished it by having me sing some of the songs he did and writing a couple more (one of which was big on college radio for a couple years). He also took the guitarist with him (I did mostly sax, backup vox, and bass on the record), so we restructured the band to have me and the other bassist swapping guitar and bass duties.

    This was our most successful period, and when they came back they were sorta dumbfounded. Essentially, they got up to speed, played a handful of gigs... and then left the country again. On their second return, I got fed up with both the extra work and the drama around people saying I was a better frontman than my friend. First, I don't agree, and second, I don't do drama.

    I got fed up after months of a rudderless ship getting bitchy at me for trying to be productive. Other members of the band acted like I was trying to one up my friend... i wasn't, and he didn't feel that way. I was just over the extra work while getting sh*t from selfish people who loved drama.

    We did do a 15 year reunion that was very successful in a fun venue. My comment when asked about doing another reunion show was, "sure, in another 15 years!"

    Story 2:
    I did a "rock" project with some guys and an *amazing* singer/frontman. He just enjoyed cocaine and booze too much and lived with a woman who enabled that. He moved out of state (at her demand, which I salute her for) and got clean. He's stayed that way and is fronting great bands in another state. Cheers!

    We auditioned other singers. They were all bad. I invited a female friend I had played music with in the past to come laugh at one guy. She was right around the corner and stopped by. We all ended up jamming on sleazy Morphine covers and the band decided to shift direction to blues/desert/indie rock.

    It was fun. She and i sang co lead vocals and had a sultry presence. That got weird when she started dating a possessive guy, and all kinds of BS was said. I'm not about drama, and I'm also not getting involved in someone else's relationship. He was physically abusive at a gig, and somehow me having a clear conversation with him about dealing with that aggression differently became "Mark is obviously into her" in his head. I slowroll walked away and offered to train someone to replace me. Never heard another word, and I got all kinds of thirdhand sh*t about things that never happened.

    I ended up confronting her about the drama and lies, and she cried about not being able to tell her bf the truth etc etc. I simply said, "find a way to keep my name out of your mouths." The "while they still have teeth in them" was clearly implied, and the nonsense stopped. It's important to me to treat people well in life, and I work very hard to be known as reliable, respectful, and inspired as a musician. The band tried a new lineup and folded within a couple months.

    Third story:
    I quit a band I was long term filling in on bass with that consisted of me, another guy on guitar, a female drummer, a female guitar player, and two go-go dancers. Oh, and a female future bass player who didn't plug in on stage. Yeah.

    Eventually, the guitar guy quit because drama (he was dating the band leader). So, yeah, it was me and five women. My being uninterested seemed to be a challenge or something, so I was always asking someone to not grope me ("it's just a show, you'll be fine, geez...").

    It came to a tipping point for me when the band leader came into the alley behind a gig where I was pissing, and she snuck up behind me and grabbed my junk... all because one of the other ladies had been talking to me and she wanted to exert dominance. I happened to have the stick bag over my shoulder from loading gear, so i spun her around and asked her if she liked being violated as much as she liked violating people. She said, "yes" and stuck her hind end out. 4 drumsticks later, I told her to play the show like that. She thought it was kinky and did so.

    I told them after the gig that I was done and don't ever call me again. I broke land speed records grabbing my gear from the rehearsal room and left my keys.

    My wife never fails to laugh when she sees drumstick lady around town. 8 years later, and I'm still pissed that she thought it was ok to repeatedly violate me after I clearly said "no" for months.

    -Mark
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2019
  13. Man with Gas

    Man with Gas Member

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    First and last straw for me are physically lazy & musically lazy band members.

    I put up with so much for way too long and I ended my playing with bands all together.

    I can only say to others who feel the same way, do it asap as the feeling is liberating in the extreme. It's positively surreal to be finished with it all and I should have done it 20yrs ago at least.

    Yes, I still LOVE music but I LOVE not being around such people.
     
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  14. takmagic

    takmagic Member

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    Disrespect, communication issues, and traveling are what did it for me.

    I was in a band for 10 years, but I was the odd man out that lived 45 minutes from where everyone else did (they live 5 minutes from each other). Plus, I have an hour commute to work. Unfortunately, I also have a disability that makes daily life a challenge. I was very good friends with the bandleader, but he started booking shows this year that were way further than we all agreed upon. This was an issue for me (due to my condition) and I contacted him immediately. I was very apologetic and explained my situation (that he's known about for years) over text and also called, but had to leave a message. To my disappointment, he never called or texted back. Then, 4 days later he group texted the band to see if we could do certain dates over the summer. He didn't even acknowledge my text or call. I didn't write back because I needed to iron out the issues with the travel dates before I committed to anything further. Since I didn't respond, he texted me privately to the tune of, "Ummm...can you do these dates or not?" I wrote back, "I'm leaving the band, let's workout an exit strategy for me".

    Of course, my phone then started lighting up like a Christmas tree. It was too late though. Where were you the last 4 days? I received a lot of lame excuses. There were other things adding up over time as well, but that was the last straw.
     
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  15. candid_x

    candid_x Supporting Member

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    I was out of work and out of love. I took a long shot for a standing casino lounge lizard gig, playing a solo audition over the phone for the front man. I was hired and told to come by and pick up a cassette of tunes to memorize. While at his condo he played a couple videos of his performances. I wanted to puke. And when I saw that the first song on the list was "Feelings" by Morris Albert, that was the last straw.
     
  16. twotone

    twotone Member

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    I wanted to play AC/DC's 'Ain't No Fun Waiting Around To Be A Millionaire', and the bandleader wanted to do Dwight Yoakum's 'Guitars And Cadillacs'.
     
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  17. paulguitarmusic

    paulguitarmusic Member

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    I quit my last band because the drummer was deaf and the bass player didnt practice at home.
     
  18. bricel24

    bricel24 Supporting Member

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    I have not yet but I am almost there. I play in two bands and all members but me and gigs are about 2 hours away from me. No biggie, I travel down there a lot anyway. But one band's singer and founder, even though he is a good person, have dreams to make it big and wants to focus on his original music. While nothing seems wrong with that, he does get a bit agitated when we are not able to schedule times and days for rehearsals and writing/laying down music on his compositions. Mind you, he is the only one in the band who has no kids/family and have always thought about quitting his day job to pursue a career in music. That's great! But he has this expectation that the rest of us will follow suit. No can do, the rest of us have careers/families/mortgage/life.

    I do this for fun. Gigging is fun to an extent at least from my perspective. I love playing. But might be the first time ever I would have to let go.
     
  19. Dasein

    Dasein Member

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    Uh -- again you didn't explain it - what the hell happened that you had to fork out money to leave the venue? Now I have to know.
     
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  20. cosmic_ape

    cosmic_ape Supporting Member

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    I have never quit a band. They always seem to implode way before I have an issue with them!
     

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