What was your last straw? (quitting band content)

TopDog

"jumping the valence"
Silver Supporting Member
Messages
2,935
My last band?

The singers thought they were stars, acting like they were playing MSG. They expected perfection and didn't want to take chances to make to the music more interesting and fun to play. Funny thing is they weren't actually getting a lot of gigs. They sang very well but they were both fat and had terrible stage presence. They thought more highly of them selves than they actually were. Inflated egos. They were also a couple.

The thing that bothered me most was that they were very insecure people, they both talked behind people's backs, their friends, other musicians and other bands. I don't have room for that kind of unhealthy negativity. I moved on...
 

K-Line

Vendor
Messages
8,026
The only time I quit a band was back in college. We had an original alternative band at Mizzou. Things went from forming to playing large venues in short order. Along cam a record contract. At this point, I was 4 months from finishing up my degree so I passed. I recommended the guy who was doing sound for us as he knew all the songs, and quite frankly was a better player than me. No regrets. They had a good time but all collapsed 2-3 years later. Was hard to walk away but the degree was something I promised myself.
 

thewalkingboss

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
1,592
I've only quit one band. The 2 bands I've had for the past 10 years have been remarkably stable.

The one I quit: Bass player for the band, a guy I have known and played in bands with since high school, invites me to join the band he was in at the time. I'm a little leery because I know they have had a revolving door of guitarists, but I agree to give it a shot.

1st rehearsal, band leader, who is main lead singer and guitar player, tells me I should bring 5 or 6 songs that I sing and we'll integrate them into the set. That's fine with me to start out. I took a lot of care to pick songs that were in the same vein as their set, and went from there. Over the next 6 or 7 rehearsals, I learned their entire 40 song set list, and we played my songs at rehearsals.

About 2 months in, band leader pulls me aside and tells me I'm not playing "syncopated" enough. Then tells me my songs and my vocals are "trying to change the band's sound", and that I should work harder to blend in with the rest of the band. Translation: I know what I was doing and he really didn't. I walked out. The bass player still plays in bands with me. The bass player and I also had a band with the drummer for a while, till he got married and moved away.
 

toasterdude

Member
Messages
1,936
Only ever played in two bands that were not mine. Left first band when female lead singer and I started writing songs that were better and way different from the band we were in. We orginally planned to stick around and do both projects. The leader and songwriter had drinking problem and would get belligerent and tell me I was playing a part wrong even though it was basic stuff and had been playing it the same for months. Once he went too far and got in my face screaming. I stood up and told him to go sit down. He did. We left. The rest of the band called and knew he had issues. Drummer and bass player wanted to come with us. Would have been instant band minus second guitar. We didn’t want to steal his band as he was great guy when sober.

Played for a weird band that mixed punkabilly with alice cooper type stuff. It was good experience playing other people’s stuff. Drummer was very good. Lead player was great. Leader was unique and a cool guy. Drummer however was more of a groove type guy and the band had some heavier even dirge like tunes along with more uptempo boogies. Said it was weird.
Drummer would get on my case about playing the heaviest of songs “behind the beat”. I had good timing but was only playing two or three years. I would play it on top of beat and it did not sound right. I would just naturally go back to how it felt right. The other guys dug it, but it drove the drummer nuts.

It got annoying so I left. Before I did I brought in a guitar magazine with interview with billy gibbons where he talked about making a song sound heavier. Play behind the beat. Lol
 

mvd18969

Member
Messages
1,994
When I join a band, I am very up front about how often I am looking to gig, types of gigs/distance, etc., and the type of music that I am looking to play. The last part is typically already defined when joining an existing band, start ups are different. When I have left a band, it is typically due to one of these things being out of sync.
A few years ago, I joined a band that was reforming with a few prior members. During their first go around, they didn't have a lot of success which I attributed to a poor song list that was geared more towards musicians as opposed to patrons at a bar. When I first got together with them, i had just finished a 5 year stint with a pretty successful dance/party band.
So they picked my brain about what we did and why it was successful, song suggestions, etc. I even had a line on a very good (and attractive) female vocalist who I had worked with in the past who was looking for a band and they seemed into the idea. We start out with a few of the slam dunks (American girl, play that funky music, etc), and all is going well. We talked about adding the next group of "crowd pleasers" and possibly setting up an audition for the female vocalist. The next week, I get an email with a few very obscure songs to learn for the next practice (Look Sharp by Joe Jackson, some obscure Stevie Ray Vaughn song, and Too Rolling Stoned by Robin Trower). I responded back and basically said "you're kidding right?" I asked about songs that the female vocalist could audition with and he also stated that he wasn't sure that was the direction that they wanted to go.
I said thanks for the opportunity, but I don't think I'm the right fit. see ya
 

MountainCraft

Member
Messages
602
My last band...

-just recorded brand new album
-got a new manager
-made new photos
-was headlining weekend nights at big clubs
-had reliable fans come out to see us

And then...
During applause one night after a sweet show...the DRUMMER decides it would be a good idea to drop the BASSISTS pants down to his ankles in front of the crowd. They nearly fought right there on stage.

That band ended the next day :(

Of course it was the drummer! LMAO!
What's wrong with those guys, anyway?
:rimshot
 

MountainCraft

Member
Messages
602
This thread makes me LOVE my current band! We've been together for 17-18 years now!! No egos, no drama, plenty of money.
Awesome man!

I've only been in one rock band in my life, and aside from that was a worship leader for a few years.. Loved both, but the worship leader thing became abusive towards me and my time by the pastor and his wife (this was in the last decade), and the rock thing ended when we lost our rehearsal room (I had converted the garage of the drummer's girlfriend's house with a completely self standing soundproof building inside of it, and then they broke up after a couple years and she sold the house)..


We tried to do it again at a place I rented and soundproofed, but never quite got it together again.. It was just largely jam sessions and partying, which was okay because there was 'some' good music coming out of it.. Ended up losing that place when it got sold and torn down for an apartment building..

Ultimately I had a falling out with the other guitar player.. He was my room mate in a small rented house near the beach, and ripped me off while I was away for the weekend (my big glass antique 5 gallon water bottle accidentally 'broke' and all the quarters miraculously disappeared to the tune of a several hundred dollar loss), then he didn't have the money for the rent, and I came home from work and he and all his stuff was gone, and I later got a $900 phone bill where he had run up phone sex charges.. Evidently he had a cocaine problem that he was hiding pretty well... Until he wasn't..

We all live way apart now, and the other guitar player, got his act together, thankfully (I am assuming after a do or die rock bottom moment or three)

It's been thirty years since that band and I'd like to give it a go again.. Gotten some great insight in this thread, and the greatest point was about 'keeping it fun'.. Make money yes, but it's gotta be 'fun' first and foremost.. I miss the camaraderie we had together, and we partied too much to ever be considered serious, but we were a 'band of brothers' and had a lot of 'fun'.. Hard to find players around here, but I'm gonna give it a go again.. Will perform solo if it comes down to it...

not looking to get rich, but I'd like to supplement social security/retirement income (it's not enough to live on by itself) with a little cash in some areas.. Hoping music to be one of them.. Don't know if it will come from performing, doing live sound, teaching, recording or all of the above, but I hope it's mostly from performing because that's the most fun.. I want that 'chemistry' again!

My 'hope' is to find what you have found!
even a light version of it...
Sounds like freakin' heaven to me!
You are blessed, for sure!
:aok
 

Pastafarian

Member
Messages
4,872
I have formed a few bands and kept a couple together north of 5 years. The secret is understanding what you can tolerate and what you can't. I have always explained to people coming in to bands that I have led what the expectations are, what the gig goals are, and what type of music we will be playing. As a band leader I have always given people as much rope as they needed. What they did with that rope was up to them and a majority of them hanged themselves. I have quit a couple bands many years ago due to members drug or drinking problems.

Like it or not ALL regular gigging bands should treat the band like a business. Why so many do not is beyond me.

The musician in general is fickle, self centered and usually has narcissistic tendencies. It's the nature of the beast. You spend so much time working at your craft alone that it's unavoidable for most.

I have also been in a few "fun only" bands where we didn't care how many gigs we got or where we played. That was certainly the most fun I have ever had in a band situation.
 
Last edited:

Sombras

Member
Messages
190
I have formed a few bands and kept a couple together north of 5 years. The secret is understanding what you can tolerate and what you can't. I have always explained to people coming in to bands that I have led what the expectations are, what the gig goals are, and what type of music we will be playing. As a band leader I have always given people as much rope as they needed. What they did with that rope was up to them and a majority of them hanged themselves. I have quit a couple bands many years ago due to members drug or drinking problems.

Like it or not ALL regular gigging bands should treat the band like a business. Why so many do not is beyond me.

The musician in general is fickle, self centered and usually has narcissistic tendencies. It's the nature of the beast. You spend so much time working at your craft alone that it's unavoidable for most.

I have also been in a few "fun only" bands where we didn't care how many gigs we got or where we played. That was certainly the most fun I have ever had in a band situation.
Agree on all points. My last band operated under the idea that we were friends first (we weren't) and a band second. Behind the "friends" facade was a pretty strong level of dysfunction in which conformity was passively expected ("How come you don't come out with us after practice?") and veiled threats ("You know, the last band I was in I ended up having to tell the guitar-player his place."). If you don't have clear goals and operating procedures like a business should have, you're not necessarily doomed, but it becomes MUCH harder to have staying power as a band.
 

willhutch

Supporting Member
Messages
1,909
I booked a gig. Brought my own PA. Setup the PA. Ran sound while playing.

Finished gig. Got paid. Divided money in front of band. I announced that I'm taking $75 off the top to compensate for the above efforts.

Drummer protests. I say: help me coil cables and load up PA, and I'll split the $75 with you. Drummer says: "hell no! I ain't doing all that for a measly $37.50!"

Drummer says I'm gettin' funny with the money.

Good bye.
 

Ltsft

Member
Messages
205
I booked a gig. Brought my own PA. Setup the PA. Ran sound while playing.

Finished gig. Got paid. Divided money in front of band. I announced that I'm taking $75 off the top to compensate for the above efforts.

Drummer protests. I say: help me coil cables and load up PA, and I'll split the $75 with you. Drummer says: "hell no! I ain't doing all that for a measly $37.50!"

Drummer says I'm gettin' funny with the money.

Good bye.
Not saying you are wrong but the time for your "announcement" is long before the gig day.
 

mikendzel

Member
Messages
905
Awesome man!

I've only been in one rock band in my life, and aside from that was a worship leader for a few years.. Loved both, but the worship leader thing became abusive towards me and my time by the pastor and his wife (this was in the last decade), and the rock thing ended when we lost our rehearsal room (I had converted the garage of the drummer's girlfriend's house with a completely self standing soundproof building inside of it, and then they broke up after a couple years and she sold the house)..


We tried to do it again at a place I rented and soundproofed, but never quite got it together again.. It was just largely jam sessions and partying, which was okay because there was 'some' good music coming out of it.. Ended up losing that place when it got sold and torn down for an apartment building..

Ultimately I had a falling out with the other guitar player.. He was my room mate in a small rented house near the beach, and ripped me off while I was away for the weekend (my big glass antique 5 gallon water bottle accidentally 'broke' and all the quarters miraculously disappeared to the tune of a several hundred dollar loss), then he didn't have the money for the rent, and I came home from work and he and all his stuff was gone, and I later got a $900 phone bill where he had run up phone sex charges.. Evidently he had a cocaine problem that he was hiding pretty well... Until he wasn't..

We all live way apart now, and the other guitar player, got his act together, thankfully (I am assuming after a do or die rock bottom moment or three)

It's been thirty years since that band and I'd like to give it a go again.. Gotten some great insight in this thread, and the greatest point was about 'keeping it fun'.. Make money yes, but it's gotta be 'fun' first and foremost.. I miss the camaraderie we had together, and we partied too much to ever be considered serious, but we were a 'band of brothers' and had a lot of 'fun'.. Hard to find players around here, but I'm gonna give it a go again.. Will perform solo if it comes down to it...

not looking to get rich, but I'd like to supplement social security/retirement income (it's not enough to live on by itself) with a little cash in some areas.. Hoping music to be one of them.. Don't know if it will come from performing, doing live sound, teaching, recording or all of the above, but I hope it's mostly from performing because that's the most fun.. I want that 'chemistry' again!

My 'hope' is to find what you have found!
even a light version of it...
Sounds like freakin' heaven to me!
You are blessed, for sure!
:aok

Good luck to you, brother!
 

Stike

Member
Messages
14,059
Not a big dramatic "I quit" but the last band kind of petered out. I had been trying to book shows/promote when a couple of the other guys did next to nothing and were perfectly content just getting together to jam on a semi regular basis. Several months after our last show with zero communication between us one of the guys sent an email saying "Hey fellas, I'm itching to jam! Anyone else?" I just replied "no" and that was that.
 

Sombras

Member
Messages
190
Not a big dramatic "I quit" but the last band kind of petered out. I had been trying to book shows/promote when a couple of the other guys did next to nothing and were perfectly content just getting together to jam on a semi regular basis. Several months after our last show with zero communication between us one of the guys sent an email saying "Hey fellas, I'm itching to jam! Anyone else?" I just replied "no" and that was that.
I also had a fizzle-out last year. At the last practice, the keyboardist (and band leader) has a meltdown about "dynamics" and it's not clear whether she's yelling at me or the drummer or both. We finish rehearsal amicably enough and commit to meeting the following week. Get a text saying she forgot that she and her dad (the bassist) are going to Hawaii and will schedule asap when they get back. I hear nothing for two months and start to suspect that maybe I got fired or they just got bored? Sent a polite bowing out text to which the drummer responded expressing regret. Never heard back from the father-daughter team.
 




Top