What was your last straw? (quitting band content)

Discussion in 'The Sound Hound Lounge' started by Sombras, Jul 17, 2019.

  1. Hofnarr

    Hofnarr Member

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    Exactly. One of the word's senses is unquestionably racist.

    The post referred to is very strange though - seems to be some sort of riff on Ritchie Valens' short career. I think it's ironically meant, but I'm not entirely sure. In any case, the exact status of the word "greaser" is perhaps ambiguous here - Valens was Mexican American, of course, so it's pretty obvious to read "greaser" as a slur; at the same time, "greaser" (in the non-ethnic sense of the word) subculture, was, I guess (not too conversant in this chapter of cultural history) flourishing around Valens' time, so this is another possible interpretation. (No idea if Valens was associated with this subculture; maybe somebody can clear this up). It's all a bit confusing (and I have a suspicion that creating confusion may have been the poster's goal - but I could be wrong).

    In any case, this thread is about band stories, so why don't why we all cut this crap and stick to the theme? To put it another way: this is a great thread, so let's not be jackasses and ruin it, eh?
     
  2. Sombras

    Sombras Member

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    Thank you Hofnarr and rednoise. As someone of Mexican descent, I’m happy to share a message board with others who have the character to step up in this situation.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2019
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  3. edgewound

    edgewound Gold Supporting Member

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    After 6 years of sociopathic behavior from the founder/lead singer...I quit, and so did everyone else. A couple guys were with him through this for 35 years. If one hasn't matured by 62, it's never gonna happen.
     
  4. Rockledge

    Rockledge Member

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    No, actually I don't. I am part Indian. I am proud enough of my genetic background that it doesn't matter to me how people address me. It seems everything anyone says now hurts some poor whiners feelings. Call me what you want. Call me redskin. Call me Indian. For God sakes don't call me "native american", that is the only term I don't care for. Even if you do call me that, I can live with it, I am a big boy. Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me.
    "Greaser" has nothing to do with anything genetic, as I say, it is a term the describes those who wore their hair a certain way and dressed in a specific manner in the fifites into the mid 60s. Shanana were greasers. Bowser was the poster child for greasers, and far as I know the dude is Italian.
    And, I have no clue what you are talking about "Mexican Indian". I never used those words and don't even know what the hell a "Mexican Indian" is.
     
  5. rednoise

    rednoise Member

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    So, after three posts, two of them far more articulate than mine, explaining why that word can be offensive, you still don't understand. OK. At least I understand better how to take your posts from now on.

    By "Mexican Indian" I was referring to the Yaquis, who I always understood to be mostly in Mexico.
     
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  6. Rockledge

    Rockledge Member

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    After that many posts you still don't understand why crying about it is petty, juvenile, and mindless?
    Grow up and realize you live in the real world, and get with the adults in understanding that you will spend your whole life hearing things that offend you.
    I hear things that offend me all the time, but I am not God and don't control the world, intelligent enough to understand as much, and I certainly am adult enough to have thick enough skin to deal with life.
    And I understand that my freedom of speech is guaranteed only by my willingness to accept that others have the same freedom.
    Feel free to whine about anything I say, that is your right. But fully expect my response and be willing to accept it.
    Those who claim to enjoy freedom yet want to inhibit the same freedom in others don't believe in it at all.

    I have little sympathy with those who spend their lives flipping over rocks looking for something to be offended by.
     
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  7. pickaguitar

    pickaguitar 2011 TGP Silver Medalist Silver Supporting Member

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    Kinda goes with the music biz...we all like to perform and be on stages :)
     
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  8. wattage

    wattage Member

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    OTT heroin use

    Getting drunk at the label showcase

    Messing with another bandmates wife

    these have been the biggies
     
  9. mcknigs

    mcknigs Supporting Member

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    The only band I ever quit was 35 years ago. One member of our quartet had become problematic. We had a band meeting at which we informed him that three of us were quitting. He kept the band name. To my knowledge he was never in a band again. We formed a new quartet with a new guy and a new name and did OK.

    Other than that, bands just kind of fell apart for various reasons. Some of them have fallen back together over the years.
     
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  10. Sir Pickalot

    Sir Pickalot Supporting Member

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    The lead vocalist..everything was about him (passive/aggressive dude) ...and the song list. The band wants a packed house but doesn't want to move away from a bad song list and they blame the patrons. It's always tough joining already established bands. They never give a truthful answer as to why the last guitarist left the band
     
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  11. Ltsft

    Ltsft Supporting Member

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    Can't say i'm with you on much, but that is the single best sentence i have read on here.
     
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  12. MountainCraft

    MountainCraft Member

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    HA! Good Point!
     
  13. MountainCraft

    MountainCraft Member

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    Truth Bomb Right There... :aok

    Not a big fan of people that have appointed themselves as the standard of what speech is acceptable and what is not.. I don't walk on eggshells very well..

    But this is a private board, and those who run it have the right to moderate how they wish, even if it seems arbitrary at times... Me, if I see something that pisses me off, I have two options.. respond or ignore.. 'Report to teacher' is not an option for me unless there is physical threat involved...

    I have zero desire to control other people.. I can barely control myself..

    Life is too short to spend it butt hurt...

    I suspect those last two points are also why a lot of bands break up...
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2019
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  14. sertshark

    sertshark Member

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    Being in a band is so f***ing hard... At first, everyone is happy, and has the best of intentions. Then, as the newness and novelty wears off, and things start to move forward, set lists get made, personal tastes in music and stage style begin to surface, and especially if originals start entering the equation, it gets difficult because no two people have identical tastes in songs, music, stage dress, band identity, etc. I always start off just wanting to join a band just so I can get out there and put my fingers on some guitar strings... and then, when you realize there is potential, it gets tough, because humans are hard enough to deal with as it is. Musicians are even harder. Democracy seems to seldom work out in a band (well, it does at first), but at some point someone has to take the reigns a little, to get some direction. If other band members don't want to follow that person's lead, you suddenly have yourself a mess, especially if alliances form, like a game of Survivor. So, maybe to make things easier, you go back to being democratic, and then it takes longer to get anything done because everyone has different tastes, and no person's taste in music is "better" than another's. I think like any relationship, you just have to get through the rough spots once in a while, and then once you get over yourself you realize it's not about you, and the issue that almost made you leave probably wasn't that big of a deal. Well, sometimes. Being in a band is so f***ing hard....
     
  15. sertshark

    sertshark Member

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    I totally agree with all those points. Especially when you are younger and starting your first band(s), you think the friendships come first, but sometimes that is a recipe for a fall, because sooner or later there will probably be differences, and if you don't see it as a business it makes it harder to make decisions that move the band forward. Been there, done that, like when I was younger and fought to not get rid of musicians because they were close friends, and that held us back. Not following a business model is bad, if your trying to establish an identity or a brand, but it's ok if you are a "fun only" band (which I agree is more FUN!). I think when you see the band as a business, it removes a lot of the emotion from the situation. Of course you need emotion for the performance, but everything else is a business situation, which makes rehearsal, creating set lists, etc. a lot less "fun". I consider myself friends with my bandmates, but the business of putting on a good performance comes first, and maybe that is because I have already experienced the "being in a band with my buddies" thing. I think every decision the band makes must can have a clear purpose and supports the band's identity that you are trying to establish. For instance, instead of someone saying they want to do a song because "I like that song", you have much better business reasons to it.
     
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  16. Rockledge

    Rockledge Member

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    Being in a band is not hard. Finding guys to be in a band with that have the social skills and temperament to be in a band is what is hard.
    Being in a band is like family. Like the saying goes, you can pick your friends but you are stuck with yourrelatives.
    That kind of applies to musicians because unless you do what I did and hole yourself up with a bunch of recording gear and can play all the instruments yourself, you are stuck with other musicians if you want to play something that involves more than you and an instrument.
    What happens in bands is that musicians get too familiar with each other after while, and come to a point where they become so familiar with each other that they become far too candid with each other, which leads to no inhibitions about being rude or insulting, or just plain being terse in general.
    The very worst band member is someone who has the perfect idea in their mind of what a band is and how to do songs and wants to impose that on others, without concern or consideration of the talents of others. Nothing is worse than a guy who thinks he is more talented or creative than everyone else.
    The very best band member is someone who accepts the talents and ideas of other band members and isager to carry out what other band members are trying to accomplish as well as their own, as well as encourages them.
    Some band members enjoy having someone else make all the decisions and pick the set lists. Some do not. In original bands , everyones ideas should be included. When one member becomes a dictator, unless the other members wish to be in a dictatorship, the band is unlikely to survive.
    My point being that the guys with the various mindsets I describe extremely rare. Pain in the ass guys who think it is all about them and have a notion of superiority are a dime a dozen , just like in families.
     
  17. Vishnu

    Vishnu Member

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    I'm teetotal but I'm happy and relaxed enough around drinkers, well I'd have tae be, this is Scotland :)

    My gripe......those that gig will understand that there is more than playin' in a band than just the actual playing on stage moments.

    There's the driving to and from gigs for instance. After a loooong night sometimes I'd have to wait up to two hours to get the rest of the band members away from the bar and into the van for the drive home. Sometimes I'd get home around four in the morning after waiting around for the boozed up guys to finally admit they'd had enough. Bear in mind that the drive to the gig was in total silence and the drive back home was full of the most mind numbing drunken talk drivel ever uttered by mankind.

    I put up with it for a while but eventually left. I'll never forget one winter in the snow as the drunks laboured to get their gear into their homes, there lyin' on the snow covered ground was the bass player flat on his back, out cold, with a Peavy bass combo on his chest.....i kid you not. Never again

    PS have you ever heard the racket a singer FULL of alcohol can make when the booze fuels his confidence? Never ever again.....Jeez all those years ago and i just realised I'm still mad!
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2019
  18. D4V3?

    D4V3? Member

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    Great post! Your words have the ring of truth.

    Every band has a life cycle. For me, and for a lot of musicians I know, having fun is an important part of being in a band. Just as you described, first comes the "honeymoon" phase when future possibilities are exciting for everyone and the fun factor is high. Once the romance of the honeymoon is over that's when the real work begins and often that's just not as much fun.
     
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  19. Mike Duncan

    Mike Duncan Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

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    The lead guitarist was a prima donna, full of himself, too loud, and not very good.

    I was the lead guitarist.

    :D
     
  20. MountainCraft

    MountainCraft Member

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    I guess the key there is the same as in marriage... If ya want it to last and be a happy experience, you have to intentionally find ways to 'keep it fun'.. All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy, so they say....
     
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