Find a serious loser (TGP: looser) who works for one of the national delivery companies. This won't be hard. Park your probably crappy car (since you're asking this question) where it's not easily seen by witnesses on the side of a road. Get out. Have the loser [looser], who has taken three or four jolts of Jim Beam, drive his truck into the back of your car. Get in car, then fall out on roadway, clutching your neck and screaming in agony. For extra credit, have your mom (you probably don't have a wife or girlfriend, since you're asking this question) happen by, to use her cell phone to film you falling out of the car, and then to call the cops, who will have the truck driver blow in one of their silly little tubes, and something like a 2.5 if you've done this right. Probably good for a million, with the right lawyer. Answering for a friend.