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When did you realize...

Shades of Blue

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
2,305
...that you should probably just be satisfied with the fact that you are a bedroom player? I've been playing for 20 years, and I played off and on at churches in praise bands during my 20s, but at 35, life is just too busy to pursue playing in organized bands whether church or otherwise. The limits of my playing these days is a few hours a week in my downtime and whenever I play acoustic at a cookout or something with my family. I've got a lot of gear that is laying around in wait for the day that I decided to get back in the game, but I just don't think I'll ever have the time to really give it the attention that playing live deserves.

Since I'm considering selling off a lot of gear over the next several months, I just want to know if anyone else just "gave up" the desire to play live and just downsized to a little corner of the man cave or office. I'm still going to play, but I don't really need the two 2x12 stacks or the 5 electrics, or the 4 amp heads. It takes up a lot of space and I'm more than likely just done trying to play out.

In all honestly, it is really just the amps and cabs that I am getting tired of keeping around. It's time to retube the Maz 18, and the Two Rock's tubes are now crackling. They will be sitting for a while because I just don't feel like retubing them right now.
 

Tele-Vision

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
1,401
...that you should probably just be satisfied with the fact that you are a bedroom player? I've been playing for 20 years, and I played off and on at churches in praise bands during my 20s, but at 35, life is just too busy to pursue playing in organized bands whether church or otherwise. The limits of my playing these days is a few hours a week in my downtime and whenever I play acoustic at a cookout or something with my family. I've got a lot of gear that is laying around in wait for the day that I decided to get back in the game, but I just don't think I'll ever have the time to really give it the attention that playing live deserves.

Since I'm considering selling off a lot of gear over the next several months, I just want to know if anyone else just "gave up" the desire to play live and just downsized to a little corner of the man cave or office. I'm still going to play, but I don't really need the two 2x12 stacks or the 5 electrics, or the 4 amp heads. It takes up a lot of space and I'm more than likely just done trying to play out.
Don’t sell your gear.
 

John Quinn

Member
Messages
2,386
Since I'm considering selling off a lot of gear over the next several months, I just want to know if anyone else just "gave up" the desire to play live and just downsized to a little corner of the man cave or office.
I've paired down my collection - but not because I gave up - I just don't have the time to play everything. But you can pair down the collection - why not. You can always buy back what you want when you have the time to play.
 

Guitarwiz007

Gold Supporting Member
Messages
2,082
Never.. been playing gigs since I was 16. Not going to stop now. It's a matter of priorities. I've been playing so long I don't know what it is not to play. A guitar goes on vacation with me. Even at home sitting around watching a movie, I will have an electric in my hand just noodling. Even my wife says I don't look right without a guitar in my hand.

But don't feel bad. Your life has taken on different priorities and that's ok. I had a friend way back in the day who was one of the best guitarists I'd ever seen up close. He was nailing EVH, Satriani and the like. I was really jealous at the time. Just a natural musician. Saw him 20 years later and he said he doesn't really play. Said he would noodle on his acoustic and one electric every once in a while. He studied electrical engineering and went to work for NASA Langley and has a beautiful family. That's who he really was/is. I still admire him but slightly disappointed that he didn't pursue music. But he made the right choice for him. Do what is right for you.
 

Low Watts

Member
Messages
248
...that you should probably just be satisfied with the fact that you are a bedroom player? I've been playing for 20 years, and I played off and on at churches in praise bands during my 20s, but at 35, life is just too busy to pursue playing in organized bands whether church or otherwise. The limits of my playing these days is a few hours a week in my downtime and whenever I play acoustic at a cookout or something with my family. I've got a lot of gear that is laying around in wait for the day that I decided to get back in the game, but I just don't think I'll ever have the time to really give it the attention that playing live deserves.

Since I'm considering selling off a lot of gear over the next several months, I just want to know if anyone else just "gave up" the desire to play live and just downsized to a little corner of the man cave or office. I'm still going to play, but I don't really need the two 2x12 stacks or the 5 electrics, or the 4 amp heads. It takes up a lot of space and I'm more than likely just done trying to play out.

In all honestly, it is really just the amps and cabs that I am getting tired of keeping around. It's time to retube the Maz 18, and the Two Rock's tubes are now crackling. They will be sitting for a while because I just don't feel like retubing them right now.
Same here, I'm nowhere near selling gear but I know I'll probably be a bedroom player for the rest of my life. This doesn't bother me as long as I still have time to play guitar. You can produce and broadcast anything from your bedroom today.
But not being able to play guitar would probably be the final blow and if it wasn't to let them go to my kids, I'd probably sell everything to avoid the painfull reminder of not living up to my dreams.
 

Shades of Blue

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
2,305
Never.. been playing gigs since I was 16. Not going to stop now. It's a matter of priorities. I've been playing so long I don't know what it is not to play. A guitar goes on vacation with me. Even at home sitting around watching a movie, I will have an electric in my hand just noodling. Even my wife says I don't look right without a guitar in my hand.

But don't feel bad. Your life has taken on different priorities and that's ok. I had a friend way back in the day who was one of the best guitarists I'd ever seen up close. He was nailing EVH, Satriani and the like. I was really jealous at the time. Just a natural musician. Saw him 20 years later and he said he doesn't really play. Said he would noodle on his acoustic and one electric every once in a while. He studied electrical engineering and went to work for NASA Langley and has a beautiful family. That's who he really was/is. I still admire him but slightly disappointed that he didn't pursue music. But he made the right choice for him. Do what is right for you.
Cool story! I'm definitely not as talented or as cool as your friend, but my career is demanding and I just don't have the time or energy to do much more than play an acoustic for a few hours throughout the week.
 

Capstan Philips

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
1,053
Probably when I was around the same age as you. Had already stopped gigging for personal reasons and had started a family... gigging was the last thing on my mind. Have been reasonably happy as a bedroom player since then, but now that the kids are older and less dependant I'm starting to get the itch again... it's hit me recently that I might never play another gig and that makes me a little sad! (I suspect that the pandemic and ongoing restrictions have put some perspective on this also).

I do however hold on to a good amp that's powerful enough for gigging (but too powerful for home). I'd suggest you do the same because, while you might feel this way now, you may feel differently somewhere down the line.

There is also a part of me that wonders if I could cut it on the modern live scene (if one even exists around here), against a generation who have grown up with the advantage of YouTube, etc! :) (I'm much more aware of my limitations than I used to be!).
 

Guitarworks

Member
Messages
10,725
OP, it all comes down to the question 'How available do you want to make yourself?'. It need not be viewed as a 'well-I'm-this-age-so-I'm-out-of-the-game-now' thing. Wrong. One thing I've learned as a musician that has rung true at every age is that networking is always at work behind the scenes. People are always watching and noticing. Bands everywhere are always looking for good musicians. The best ones always seem to find each other, because sooner or later someone puts them in contact with each other. Many times when I'm playing in one of the groups to which I belong, someone asks me about playing in some project they have going on. The fact that I'm 52 makes no difference to them. As for instruments, I can't tell you how many I have that were obtained because someone asked me to join a group, or someone in the group asked me "hey, do you own a _____?" or "hey, could you play this one part, which requires a ______?" And I'll say, "yeah I have one and yeah I can play that part." If I got rid of everything, I wouldn't be able to accommodate them. So I get asked to play.
 

Shades of Blue

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
2,305
OP, it all comes down to the question 'How available do you want to make yourself?'. It need not be viewed as a 'well-I'm-this-age-so-I'm-out-of-the-game-now' thing. Wrong. One thing I've learned as a musician that has rung true at every age is that networking is always at work behind the scenes. People are always watching and noticing. Bands everywhere are always looking for good musicians. The best ones always seem to find each other, because sooner or later someone puts them in contact with each other. Many times when I'm playing in one of the groups to which I belong, someone asks me about playing in some project they have going on. The fact that I'm 52 makes no difference to them. As for instruments, I can't tell you how many I have that were obtained because someone asked me to join a group, or someone in the group asked me "hey, do you own a _____?" or "hey, could you play this one part, which requires a ______?" And I'll say, "yeah I have one and yeah I can play that part." If I got rid of everything, I wouldn't be able to accommodate them. So I get asked to play.
Great points. If there was a gig opportunity that I'd be willing to take in the next few years, it would be at my church. They have a great praise band and I think that based on their current members, I could be a decent alternative. I could probably even just fill in when needed, so possibly a once to twice a month or less type of thing, which is perfect for me. The only thing that stops me is that I remember the practices, and the peripheral time needed to get going at this and I realize....not right now.
 

Big Al Z

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
743
I felt the same way when I was your age. Kind of in a lull - not really doing much, skills not progressing. And then between age 40 thru 55ish I was in 4 different bands playing out almost every weekend sometimes twice a week. So you're never going to give up playing - it's going to be just a matter of how much. Keep the gear that you can't replace and sell the rest. Who knows what the future will bring.

FYI - I've sold most of my amps (down to 2 to gig with) and are now just upgrading my guitars and buying some items I've always wanted. And the pedal board still looks the same as it did 3 years ago. Trying to pair that down is a challenge.
 

Guitarwiz007

Gold Supporting Member
Messages
2,082
Cool story! I'm definitely not as talented or as cool as your friend, but my career is demanding and I just don't have the time or energy to do much more than play an acoustic for a few hours throughout the week.
Not knowing your specific situation, my advice would be to keep and acoustic and one or two electrics you like. Get rid of the amps. Buy yourself a little modelling board with some of the proceeds of the sale. There WILL come a time where you will wish you had an electric to noodle on. A Headrush or Helix are decent low cost options. If you have the dough, the Kemper would be the way to go IMO. The Kemper gets old in the same way as an old Marshall or Fender gets old. But this way, you can satisfy the itch and won't take up much space or have money tied up in something that is useless. Plus, if you do decide to play in church, they will appreciate the fact that you're giving them a direct signal and blasting away with an amp. My best to you.
 

Shades of Blue

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
2,305
I felt the same way when I was your age. Kind of in a lull - not really doing much, skills not progressing. And then between age 40 thru 55ish I was in 4 different bands playing out almost every weekend sometimes twice a week. So you're never going to give up playing - it's going to be just a matter of how much. Keep the gear that you can't replace and sell the rest. Who knows what the future will bring.

FYI - I've sold most of my amps (down to 2 to gig with) and are now just upgrading my guitars and buying some items I've always wanted. And the pedal board still looks the same as it did 3 years ago. Trying to pair that down is a challenge.
Looking around the room, the only thing I really am thinking about selling is my Two Rock head and cab. It's overkill, and I prefer my Maz and Marshall. It's a nostalgic amp for me somewhat, because it was the amp I dreamed about since I was of course a huge Mayer fan. Once I got the amp, I was kind of like, ok what now? It's a nice sounding amp, but I can get much more enjoyment out of my Maz and my Marshall. The Two Rock is just there because I feel like I have to keep it.
 

datguytim

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
3,982
Never. Been playing shows since I was 13 or so. I’ve been blessed, got lucky, been in the right place at the right time, whatever you want to call it, as I’m now 53 and still get to record and play/tour (once we are allowed to do so properly).
Life takes us all down different paths, sometimes we need to do what we have to do to survive and take care of our families - I get that. Do just that, and then see if you really miss and crave doing gigs before you sell off all your gear.
 

derekd

Silver Supporting Member
Messages
43,712
I went through that when we were raising children.

Once they grew up I went back at it again. However, at this point, I'm only interested in playing out in certain settings. The 10-2 bar scene is definitely not on my list.

I'll continue downsizing gear to 3 electrics, an acoustic, mando, & bass. A few pedals and a couple of amps need to go, also.
 

ShonRomeoBey

Member
Messages
126




Lol but in all seriousness do this to whatever capacity makes you happy. To be honest I'm 28 and even just from being in bands in high school 2006-2010 the industry has changed so much even from then, don't think I would want anything to do with trying to make it professionally on original material or whatever.
 

Average Joe

Member
Messages
11,826
Hopefully never, but I'm beginning to thing it might be the realistic outcome, at least in the short term.

Still got the cover band, but honestly I'm fed up with that. I stick to it cause it's a chance to get out and gig, but I've been doing it for 30 years. I think I'm done with it.

I've got one informal but recurring jazz jam set up, and another that might bounce back once everybody is vaccinated. I hope those persist. I would miss playing with others.

What I'm seeing right now, bands looking for guitarist are either covers like what I already have, or it's a bunch of kids with ambitions. As a 48 y.o. family man I don't belong. So, for want of better options right now, I might be a bedroom player. Hope not to stay one though
 
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