Why would people do such a thing..insecurity?

[mike walker]

I remember dancing once and a woman looked at me and said i looked a bit of a fool when i danced and i was embarrassing.

I can't dance.

But i still dance.

I hear this happen from parents to children.

I find it very sad that one would make such an effort to crush the freedom of an innocent.

Dance anyway, people.

Mike

 

[Lucidology]

Just curious mate ... what made such thoughts could to mind at this hour?

 

[mike walker]

Ahhh... posted in wrong forum again!!! Darn it!!

 

[mike walker]

You never sleep Joe!!???
It's midday here.
Just thinking of our friends that won't share this thread with us amigo.
Just thinking how a little kindness goes a long way.
Just thinking how cynicism needs timing, and pitching just right, without intent to own in order to bolster one's ego.

I never really knew these guys, but they crept into my composing today.

Ahh...just one of those days Joe.

Get some dream time Bro!!!

Mike

 

[Lucidology]

You never sleep Joe!!???
It's midday here.
Just thinking of our friends that won't share this thread with us amigo.
Just thinking how a little kindness goes a long way.
Just thinking how cynicism needs timing, and pitching just right, without intent to own in order to bolster one's ego.

I never really knew these guys, but they crept into my composing today.

Ahh...just one of those days Joe.

Get some dream time Bro!!!

Mike

Well said Mike ... would luv to hear your composition where this seeps in..

FWIW, moi's sleeping habits are strange ...
I played an early evening gig... got home at about 11 & fell asleep for about 4 hours on the couch...
So I don't fight it ... being a fulltime gigger ...I let it come where it may ...
Feels healther that way ....

However, this may (or will) change when summer arrives & my lady moves in with moi ...

 

[mike walker]

Wow! Must feel so right.
Practice putting that toilet seat down fella...it's the little things.

Best to you and yours,

Mike

 

[semi-hollowbody]

When I was single, hanging in a bar, I was "dancing" and this young woman, extremely overweight, leaned over and said "you know you really shouldnt dance in public"
I am usually not cruel but I was knocked off gaurd and told her "you know you really shouldnt eat" and instantly felt bad...later that night her friend told me she was hitting on me and that I hurt her feelings and she left

how the hell is telling someone they should not dance considered "hitting on them"???

 

[Pat Healy]

how the hell is telling someone they should not dance considered "hitting on them"???

Insecurity. In my experience, people who are painfully insecure can't help but put other people down, even when they're trying to establish a connection. Sad.

As for me, I don't dance, because I look and feel like I'm falling out of a tree. Those of you who like it, more power to ya...I simply have no impulse or desire to flail my limbs about.

 

[PosterBoy]

I once told a girl she danced like a muppet, she didn't take it in the way I meant it (cute and endearing) and took offense, needless to say I didn't get her number.

 

[Pat Healy]

I once told a girl she danced like a muppet, she didn't take it in the way I meant it (cute and endearing) and took offense, needless to say I didn't get her number.

I can't IMAGINE why that didn't work for you...must have been a fluke. Why don't you go try it maybe ten more times, just to make sure.

 

[neastguy]

IMO.. if you want to look good dancing. the first thing you need to do is take your shirt off.... and then do the robot dance.. works for me at every wedding I've been at..

 

[kurtsstuff]

Sometimes...well....most the time...ok....Damn near all the time people way too concerned with what others think..Yes...there are times when it really matters what other people think ie: Jobs,Wives,Friends..etc...but...Dancing at a bar?? Not so much!

 

[stevieboy]

Since I never danced much I wasn't the object of those remarks (if I did I 'm sure I would have been), but I have heard them and when I do I understand why so often women wind up dancing alone or with other women. I've also heard women complain that guys won't dance, wonder why?

 

[CocoTone]

Well said Mike ... would luv to hear your composition where this seeps in..

FWIW, moi's sleeping habits are strange ...
I played an early evening gig... got home at about 11 & fell asleep for about 4 hours on the couch...
So I don't fight it ... being a fulltime gigger ...I let it come where it may ...
Feels healther that way ....

However, this may (or will) change when summer arrives & my lady moves in with moi ...

Taking the big step eh Bro?? Hope it works for you. Go slow though. Isn't it a little soon tho?? How long have you been dating?

CT.

 

[mike walker]

I guess my question was a wider one. It wasn't about dancing per se.

What is it that makes some folk, (inc parents, small p intended, unfortunately) want to make a person smaller, lesser, less 'in the know' etc etc? Discounting obvious occasions when someone needs a kick in the pants for their own good.
Is it the desperate need to control? Insecurity?

The best conversations are shared conversations, where people say, 'tell me more about that'. Do we say that as often as we should?

Like i said, dance anyway.

Mike

 

[madsr]

yeah it wouldn't bother me. I have been known to clear the dance floor on occasion.. I start dancing and everybody runs the other way!

 

[Simon]

I sure am glad there are uninhibited people that do dance, cuz playing to an empty dance floor is exhausting.

 

[DrSax]

I remember dancing once and a woman looked at me and said i looked a bit of a fool when i danced and i was embarrassing.

I can't dance.

But i still dance.

I hear this happen from parents to children.

I find it very sad that one would make such an effort to crush the freedom of an innocent.

Dance anyway, people.

Mike

Yep. Insecurity all the way.

Let your freak flag fly, or boogie....

 

[Pat Healy]

What is it that makes some folk, (inc parents, small p intended, unfortunately) want to make a person smaller, lesser, less 'in the know' etc etc? Discounting obvious occasions when someone needs a kick in the pants for their own good.
Is it the desperate need to control? Insecurity?

I run an IT consulting company, and in my field this kind of behavior is more rampant that any other field I've observed. It's just painful to watch two insecure geeks try to show each other up in terms of technical knowledge. "Dude, how can you not know how to configure Version 3.12 of the Cahootenvalve Server? Hahahaha...." Ridiculous and pathetic. In the case of the IT geek, I think it's insecurity born of being stuffed into too many lockers and trash cans as a kid.

 

[Julia343]

I guess my question was a wider one. It wasn't about dancing per se.

What is it that makes some folk, (inc parents, small p intended, unfortunately) want to make a person smaller, lesser, less 'in the know' etc etc? Discounting obvious occasions when someone needs a kick in the pants for their own good.
Is it the desperate need to control? Insecurity?

The best conversations are shared conversations, where people say, 'tell me more about that'. Do we say that as often as we should?

Like i said, dance anyway.

Mike

It amazes me: the lack of social skills some people have. But we live in an age where one can go an entire day without talking to a real human -- think phones and auto tech support stuff, calling your bank, credit card company, etc. Then add in the text messaging, instant messaging, whatever. No social interaction. We're social animals. Social behavior is learned, and easily forgotten.

Also the human race is very dysfunctional. People enter into relationships with someone and then try to change that person into someone else. "They're perfect except for....(they drink too much, smoke, swear a lot, yell, make belittling remarks, are abusive, etc.). But I love them." I think they get more in love with being in a relationship than with the person. This is why there are TV shows like "Dr. Phil." And people do the same things over and over and over again and expect different results. (I've given up on playing Barre F chords -- they hurt my hands and cause tendonitis flareups).

I've discovered that if you want unconditional love, get a dog. If you want validation, don't get a cat.

As to why people say these things to others when they have exactly the opposite intention? I have no idea. I do think it's a defense mechanism to keep you at a distance. I hate teasing and put downs which may come from the "only child syndrome" (there's a half generation between my nearest sibling and me) -- doesn't share. doesn't play well with others. I tend to go for the jugular if the remark hurts.

Life is too short for those games. I have two very close friends. Two more close friends, and about a dozen friendly acquaintances with varying degrees of closeness. That's enough.