WTF is wrong with a band leader that...

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by AA864, Feb 10, 2015.

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  1. AA864

    AA864 Supporting Member

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    ...adds a new band member with zero discussion (and expects us all to be fine with this eff'd up idea)

    back story:
    Been playing guitar/vox in a house band for five years. Five piece, Front man/singer/Rhythm, Lead Gtr(me), bass, keys, drums.

    I go to Cabo for a week with amply notice, come back and the sub that filled in is now a band member. Zero discussion, no notice. Leader puts new player RIGHT NEXT TO ME and he can't play worth a shite.

    I was (am) pissed, Leader saw this and came over to ask why? I said "we don't need him, he adds no value to the music and I'm not gonna teach him 100+ songs (on stage), consider this my last night." I finished the gig and was packing up my gear . Leader came over again to confirm.... "are you really leaving"... "ahh, yeah, unless you get the posers off the stage, I'm done. I'm sick of train wrecks and want tighter delivery of songs, not a cluster fvck of jamband madness..... see-ya"

    What say you TGP, why is this all my fault (because I know you think it is) or is this leader on the pipe?
     
  2. coltonius

    coltonius Señor Member Silver Supporting Member

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    I say yikes. Not cool of the band leader to made that decision, but your reaction didn't exactly invite compromise.

    I mean.. Diva much? ;)
     
  3. GCDEF

    GCDEF Supporting Member

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    Are you sure he didn't discuss it with the others while you were gone? What do the others think? If everybody agrees, seems like you could all get him to change his mind.

    I think just about anybody in your situation would be pissed about it, especially if there's already another guitar player.
     
  4. AA864

    AA864 Supporting Member

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    What part of "do it my way" is not a compromise to you? ;)

    I did leave him with a "think about it", to my "get rid of the posers" 'suggestion' :D
     
  5. sundog964

    sundog964 Supporting Member

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    He is the band leader as you say. So it was his call, unless this type of thing has been discussed before.

    I find that when I'm upset I keep my mouth closed for 24 hours and the results are much more positive.

    But it is a low thing to do after 5 years. Did he discuss with other band members?
     
  6. Kitten Cannon

    Kitten Cannon Member

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    There may have been a better way to handle it, but I can't say I'd have reacted much differently. Life is too short to play in bands that are willing to train wreck on stage.

    Singer of a band I play with now puts us in this position sometimes, letting audience members come up and sing a song sometimes. Nothing makes me madder. I reserve my dirtiest glares to for shooting at him when that happens. I don't even give a **** if the audience likes it. I'm not a ******* karaoke machine.
     
  7. AA864

    AA864 Supporting Member

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    Keys and drums had no idea this was happening either. Without asking keys said new player does not have the chops to replace me. Said there were three guitars on stage while I was OOT and he (keys) had to start a well known Chuck Berry song.
     
  8. Rick Lee

    Rick Lee Member

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    Man, have I been in exactly this spot before. New guy was as nice as the day is long too. But he couldn't play his way out of a paper bag. Band leader finally conceded that much and pulled the plug on the whole thing when we were quietly looking for a replacement and another member upped and quit the day before a gig.
     
  9. Drak

    Drak Supporting Member

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    I think you did exactly the right thing.
    But with less emotion and remarks, it just gives him ammunition to work against you.
    Leaving matter-of-factly and calmly leaves him holding the entire bag of backlash.
     
  10. Fishyfishfish

    Fishyfishfish Member

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    You made the right call. I wouldn't have even played the gig, but that's me.
     
  11. GCDEF

    GCDEF Supporting Member

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    Are they willing to speak up? Do they know why he did it?
     
  12. BMX

    BMX Supporting Member

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    I think you look worse than the band leader. Quitting with no notice is cheesy and unprofessional. Bands (in most cases) aren't democracies. If you don't like it leave- after giving notice so the gigs are covered. There are more considerations than just playing ability when adding a new band member.
     
  13. leftty

    leftty Member

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    No, band leader or not it was a dickhead move. A band leader IMO is just the person who makes final decisions after the band has talked over things or takes care of the little details no one else may not want to take care of. No new member comes in on a permanent spot unless he is wanted by the rest of the band, Period.
     
  14. 84superchamp

    84superchamp Silver Supporting Member

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    i hate band "leaders". sucks the freedom right out of a band. our "leader" brought in his no talent brother, after we were an established band, to play maracas, tamborine and sing back-up. but he was the leader..nothing we could do.

    i too hope you left yourself an out, and he makes the right choice and gets back with you.
     
  15. AA864

    AA864 Supporting Member

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    I did give notice, about 5 hours. That's more notice than I got of a new band member joining us.
     
  16. In Tune

    In Tune Member

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    I concur with your choice of moves. The other bandmates should follow your lead. Congrats, well played sir!:argue
     
  17. AA864

    AA864 Supporting Member

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    I know why he did it... he's into all this stupid hippy-dippy jam band crap and thinks he can just add more players on stage and get this wonderful 'Further/Phil Lesh and Friends' experience. he does not play lead and has no clue what it's like to herd cats on stage and not fall off the cliff. He also does not realize that every player that walks thru the door is NOT jimmy Herring or Warren Haynes and that most have very limited skills.

    do i need to go on?
     
  18. BMX

    BMX Supporting Member

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    I can see that I'll have to agree to disagree with many on this thread which is fine. In my experience being a band leader and band member (about 50/50), the biggest downfall in bands is when leaders and members don't know (or don't like) the roll they play. Having grey area causes unneeded stress, decisions take too long to make, there is friction if someone is outvoted, factions are created "two of us have decided we don't want to play that song anymore."

    For some bands this type of setup works for them. I either want to be in charge, or I want someone else (1 person) in charge. If I don't like the direction of a band I don't like I give my notice and move on- no endless band meetings and hand wringing.

    Without knowing the specific history of this band I can't comment much More than I have. Would I add a full time member without telling anyone it was coming? Probably not. But in the end I think it's up to the band leader to decide. I've been in successful bands and unsuccessful bands, and the reason why the the successful bands have been successful has never been because of the best musician- it's always having a good hang-out at the clubs connection guy, songwriter, image etc. So if the band leader added this person my default thinking was that there was a logic to it. Again, I have no specifics so I have no idea what the real story is.
     
  19. mdrake34

    mdrake34 Member

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    Last Thursday I got a facebook invitation to a gig for my band for the following night. It was the first I had heard of the gig, and I'm assuming the invite was to be an audience member. They pulled the same stunt right before christmas, though I didn't get a facebook invite, but saw the event created on my newsfeed.

    I've apparently been permanently replaced by the guy they would have fill in for me on weekends when I had my daughter and couldn't play. Oh well. The drummer quit too because we rarely, if ever rehearsed. He and I are going to put some sort of acoustic duo together, and actually rehearse. I like playing with him much better anyways.
     
  20. 2HBStrat

    2HBStrat Member

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    OP, I know a guy who quit a band because the leader hired an extra member for just one (special) gig without talking to the band first, so your actions are not imo out of line. Your band leader should have handled it better. Best of luck, tho.....hope it works out for you.
     
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